I Hate to Fly (and I’m Married to a Pilot)

Turbulent skies. May 2024.

Shhhhh, this is our little secret: I don’t like to fly. My husband gets irritated when I mention that I dislike flying because he is a pilot.

Although I regularly travel by plane for work and vacations, I still dread the entire experience. I am the most tense at takeoff. I pray for the first ten minutes. Then, I relax for the remainder of the flight unless there is bad turbulence. If that happens, I start gripping the armrests. I’m sure my neighbors love that in an already cramped airplane.

I'm dreading a work trip this weekend. Let's forget about the plane itself; the entire experience is exhausting. Dealing with long lines, other cranky passengers, screaming kids, gate changes, delays, and more leaves me dreaming of alternate travel plans.

I will be heading to Chicago and can drive there in the same amount of time it takes me to fly. When you factor in the drive to the airport, the waiting time, the one-hour flight, the time to get my bag after landing, and the time it takes to reach the rental car at O’Hare, it comes to about the same as driving. I almost chose to drive instead, but ran into rental car timing issues, so now I’m flying.

Logically, I know flying is safe. Statistically, my odds of being in a plane crash are 1.25 per 810,000 flights. Compare that to my 1 in 93 chance of dying in a car crash, and it should be a no-brainer.

But tell that to my nervous system when the plane dips mid-flight.

I should be comfortable seeing how much studying and training my husband does. He has told me about alarms going off and how they handle emergencies when they arise. As he says, it is what they are trained for.

So here I am, packing my bag and mentally preparing for another flight. Maybe I’ll finally get through an airport this time without rolling my eyes. But let’s be honest, probably not.

I’d love to avoid flying altogether, but sometimes, it’s unavoidable. And I know I’m not the only one who dreads the entire experience.

Flying isn’t my favorite, and I know I’m not alone. Between security lines, unexpected turbulence, and seats designed for people half my size, something about air travel gets under everyone’s skin. Let’s break down the most common pain points and a few realistic ways to make flying a little easier.

Why Do People Hate Flying?

Here are some common reasons people hate flying (I relate to most of them) and practical ways to overcome them:

1. Airport Hassles & Long Waits

Why People Hate It: Airports involve long security lines, delays, baggage claim waits, and crowded terminals. The process can feel inefficient and exhausting. I have almost missed enough flights in Cleveland due to short staff in TSA lines, so I bit the bullet and have a Clear Membership. It has helped significantly. I would not recommend that if you don’t fly regularly, though.
How to Overcome It:

• TSA PreCheck or Global Entry: Skip long security lines.

• Pack Light: Carry-on only to avoid baggage claim delays.

• Choose Non-Peak Flights: Early morning or late-night flights tend to have fewer crowds.

• Use Lounge Access: Many credit cards offer access to airport lounges with free food, drinks, and comfortable seating.

2. Fear of Flying & Anxiety

Why People Hate It: Being in a metal tube at 35,000 feet can be unsettling, and turbulence can trigger panic. (Enter armrest gripping here!)
How to Overcome It:

• Learn the Facts: Remember that turbulence is normal, and pilots are highly trained for all situations.

• Use Distractions: Listen to music, watch a movie, or play a game to take your mind off the flight.

• Practice Breathing Techniques: Deep breathing exercises can help calm nerves.

3. Lack of Control

Why People Hate It: Unlike driving, passengers have zero control over the flight, making some feel uneasy. I have zero interest in flying a plane, but I get why people prefer driving—at least you’re in control.
How to Overcome It:

• Choose Your Seat Wisely: Sitting near the front or over the wings offers a smoother ride.

• Bring Comfort Items: Noise-canceling headphones, a good book, or a travel pillow can help create a sense of control.

• Trust the Professionals: Remember that pilots undergo rigorous training, and air travel is meticulously monitored.

4. Cramped Seats & Lack of Comfort

Why People Hate It: Airlines are notorious for shrinking seat sizes, making flying uncomfortable, especially on longer flights. I dislike flying United. Even the skinniest person can barely fit in those seats without some overflow.
How to Overcome It:

• Upgrade When Possible: Even an economy-plus seat can make a difference. I won’t do this for quick trips but rarely for long trips.

• Choose Aisle Seats: They offer more legroom and the ability to stretch. I take the window seat because I seldom get up to use the restroom. I hate getting up and down, so I’d rather be at the window.

• Bring Comfort Gear: A neck pillow, compression socks, and a small blanket can improve the experience.

5. Motion Sickness & Air Pressure Changes

Why People Hate It: Some people feel nauseous or experience ear pain due to changes in altitude.
How to Overcome It:

• Stay Hydrated: Dehydration worsens motion sickness.

• Chew Gum or Suck on Candy: Helps relieve ear pressure.

• Use Anti-Nausea Bands or Medication: Wristbands and over-the-counter options like Dramamine can help.

My son flew with my husband on this plane in 2017.

6. Flight Delays & Cancellations

Why People Hate It: Sitting at the gate for hours (or worse, getting stuck overnight) is frustrating.
How to Overcome It:

• Book Early Flights: First flights of the day have fewer delays.

• Download Airline Apps: Get real-time updates and rebooking options faster.

• Have a Backup Plan: If your flight is canceled, know alternative flights or nearby airport options.

7. Jet Lag & Exhaustion

Why People Hate It: Changing time zones can make you groggy for days. I try to stay up later when I fly West, but the struggle is real.
How to Overcome It:

• Adjust Sleep Before Travel: Shift bedtime closer to your destination’s time zone.

• Stay Hydrated & Avoid Alcohol: Alcohol dehydrates and worsens jet lag.

• Use Natural Light: Get outside to reset your internal clock when you arrive.

8. Expensive Ticket Prices & Extra Fees

Why People Hate It: Airlines now charge for everything, bags, seats, snacks, and carry-ons. I really dislike having a big carry-on to put into the overhead compartments. It would be my luck that I would hit someone in the head. Most of the time, I check a bag, but yes, it costs money.
How to Overcome It:

• Use Flight Deal Sites: Google Flights, Skyscanner, and Hopper can help find lower fares.

• Pack Smart: Avoid checked bag fees by packing light.

• Use Travel Credit Cards: Many offer free checked bags and priority boarding.

Making Peace with Flying

At the end of the day, flying will never be my favorite way to travel. But I’ve accepted that it’s part of life, especially when you're married to a pilot.

The best I can do? Manage it, roll my eyes a little less at the airport, and pray for smooth skies.

If you can relate, take a few extra steps, whether it’s minimizing airport stress, preparing for comfort, or reframing your mindset, you can make flying more manageable and even (dare I say?) enjoyable. So, the next time you debate whether to drive or fly, arm yourself with these strategies and take control of your travel experience. Do you have a flying hack or a personal trick that makes air travel easier? Share it in the comments, I’d love to hear what works for you! Safe travels!

Flying over Pyramid Lake, Nevada. November 2024.

Disclaimer: This post is based on my personal experiences and opinions. I am not affiliated with, sponsored by, or endorsed by any of the brands, companies, or services mentioned. Any links included are for informational purposes only, and I do not receive compensation for them. Always do your own research before making travel-related decisions.