SAS 12: Unlearning in Midlife
When Success No Longer Feels Like Success
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When What You’ve Always Believed No Longer Fits
When was the last time you realized something you’ve always believed about success, happiness, or even who you are just isn’t true anymore?
It’s a strange moment, isn’t it?
You’ve spent years, maybe decades, doing all the “right” things. Building a career, raising a family, taking care of everyone and everything. You’ve learned the lessons, checked the boxes, and hit the milestones.
And yet, one day, something feels off. The version of success you once chased doesn’t fit anymore.
That’s where unlearning begins.
Midlife isn’t just about learning new things. It’s about unlearning what no longer serves you so you can grow in a way that actually feels like you.
The Restlessness That Sneaks In
You might have a lot to be proud of right now. Maybe your kids are grown, your career is stable, and your home is finally how you like it. But even with all that, there’s this low hum of restlessness underneath it all.
You might be thinking, Is this it?
Or, Why doesn’t success feel like I thought it would?
For years, many of us believed success meant having a dependable, “good” job. That belief gave us security. It gave us identity. But security isn’t the same as fulfillment. And while the work might still be meaningful, it might not light you up anymore.
That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve grown.
When the Old Formulas Stop Working
The formulas we were taught, get the degree, get the job, work hard, climb the ladder, don’t hold the same weight anymore. The world’s changed. Jobs aren’t guaranteed. Companies downsize and restructure constantly.
And beyond that, you’ve changed.
The things that once felt exciting now feel routine. The goals that used to drive you might not make sense for who you are today. You’ve evolved, but your old definitions of success haven’t caught up yet.
So the question becomes:
What are you ready to unlearn?
A Simple Reflection to Start
Try this tonight:
Write down one belief that no longer feels true.
Maybe it’s “stability equals happiness” or “I need to have it all figured out.”Challenge your proof.
Where did that belief come from? Was it something your parents believed? Something society told you? Something that used to be true but isn’t anymore?Ask: What if something different is possible now?
What if the definition of success in your next chapter looks less like climbing and more like creating, sharing, or exploring?
You’re Allowed to Outgrow Your Old Goals
It’s okay for your dreams at forty or fifty to look nothing like they did at twenty.
You’re not starting over. You’re starting from experience.
You’re allowed to want something that’s your own. To chase curiosity again. To build something that belongs to you.
For me, that meant starting a blog and a podcast. What began as a small side project turned into a space that reached over 11,000 people in a single month. That’s not because I had it all figured out. It’s because I finally let myself explore what felt meaningful.
Maybe for you, that means launching a small business, taking a class, writing, mentoring, or exploring a creative hobby. Maybe it’s just making space to ask what’s next without guilt.
The Truth About Transformation
Transformation isn’t about throwing away everything you’ve built. It’s about using all that experience differently.
You’ve spent a lifetime learning how to lead, nurture, adapt, and figure things out.
Now you get to use those same strengths to build something that feels more aligned with who you are now, not who you were twenty years ago.
So ask yourself:
What belief am I ready to release this month?
What does fulfillment look like now, not then?
What would it mean to redefine success on my own terms?
Unlearning doesn’t erase who you were. It reveals who you’ve always been.
Your Next Step
If you’re ready to explore what’s next in your own second act, I created a free tool to help.
It’s called the Second Act Pathfinder, and it walks you through reflective prompts to uncover what truly matters now: your interests, your values, your time, and your goals.
You can get it free when you join the Second Act Simplified newsletter below. It’s the perfect next step for women ready to explore a more meaningful chapter without starting from scratch.
Take five minutes tonight and write down one belief you’re ready to unlearn.
That’s where your next chapter begins.
