35. Why Can't I Stay Consistent With My Goals? (And How Do I Fix It?)
If you've ever started a side hustle, hobby, blog, business idea, or personal goal with excitement only to watch it slowly drift to the bottom of your priority list, you're not alone. In fact, I would argue that consistency is one of the biggest challenges women face when they decide they want something more for themselves.
Most of us don't struggle because we lack ambition. We don't struggle because we aren't capable. We struggle because life is full. Between careers, family responsibilities, household management, aging parents, community commitments, and everything else competing for our attention, it can feel impossible to consistently make progress on something that exists solely for us.
What makes it even harder is that many of us have a completely unrealistic idea of what consistency is supposed to look like. We picture successful people showing up every day, feeling motivated, checking every box on their to-do list, and making steady progress no matter what's happening around them. When our own lives don't look like that, we assume we're doing something wrong.
The truth is that most women aren't failing because they can't stay consistent. They're frustrated because they're measuring themselves against a version of consistency that doesn't actually exist.
I've been reminded of this lesson several times over the last two years while building my blog and podcast alongside a full-time career. Like many of you, I often start a season feeling organized and ahead of schedule. I create plans, map out content, and convince myself that this time I've finally figured out how to stay on top of everything.
Then life reminds me who's really in charge.
A few months ago, I was feeling pretty good about my podcast schedule. I had several episodes recorded in advance and felt comfortably ahead. Instead of scrambling to finish content each week, I finally felt like I had some breathing room. Then graduation season arrived. My youngest son graduated from high school, family came into town, we hosted a graduation party, and work became busier. The calendar filled up quickly and the extra time I thought I had disappeared almost overnight.
Before I knew it, I had missed a couple of weeks of recording.
Years ago, I probably would have looked at that situation and focused entirely on what I hadn't done. I would have viewed those missed weeks as proof that I wasn't organized enough or disciplined enough. This time, however, I saw it differently. Instead of treating a temporary interruption as a permanent failure, I simply picked up where I left off. The episodes still got recorded. New topics were planned. The podcast continued moving forward.
That experience reinforced something I've learned over and over again: consistency isn't about never falling behind. It's about being willing to come back after you do.
Somewhere along the way, many of us started believing that consistency means perfection. We think it means never missing a day, never losing momentum, and never having to start over. But real life doesn't work that way. Real life is messy. There are seasons when everything seems manageable and seasons when every area of life demands attention at the same time.
Especially in midlife, it can feel like we're carrying responsibilities in every direction. We may be managing careers while helping children launch into adulthood. We may be supporting aging parents while trying to maintain relationships, care for our homes, and carve out a little time for ourselves. There is almost always something that needs our attention, which means there will almost always be interruptions.
The women who eventually reach their goals aren't necessarily the women who avoid those interruptions. They're the women who learn how to work through them. They understand that a busy week doesn't erase months of progress. A missed deadline doesn't cancel a dream. A temporary pause doesn't mean the journey is over.
I've come to think of consistency in a very different way. Instead of seeing it as perfection repeated, I see it as recovery repeated. It's the willingness to begin again after life gets in the way. It's reopening the document after not touching it for three weeks. It's recording the next podcast episode after falling behind. It's taking one small step forward instead of convincing yourself that because you lost momentum, you might as well quit altogether.
Another trap many of us fall into is believing that motivation will carry us through. We wait until we feel inspired to write the blog post, launch the business, start the project, or work toward the goal. The problem is that motivation is unpredictable. Some days we feel energized and excited. Other days we're exhausted from work, mentally drained from family responsibilities, and counting down the minutes until we can sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing.
That's normal.
What isn't helpful is building our entire plan around those moments of inspiration. If you're waiting until you have more energy, more time, or a calmer schedule, you may be waiting forever. Most busy women aren't going to wake up one day and suddenly discover an extra ten hours a week. Life doesn't usually become less busy. Instead, we have to learn how to make progress within the reality of the life we already have.
That's why simple systems often work better than relying on motivation. Small, repeatable actions create momentum. Maybe that means spending fifteen minutes brainstorming ideas on a Sunday afternoon. Maybe it means dedicating one evening a week to writing. Maybe it means researching a business idea during your lunch break. The specifics matter less than the habit itself.
What I've noticed is that many women underestimate the power of small efforts. We assume that if we aren't making huge progress, we're not making progress at all. Yet when you look back over the course of a year, those small actions add up. Fifteen minutes here and there may not feel significant in the moment, but repeated often enough, they can completely change the direction of your life.
One thing I've also noticed about ambitious women is that we're often much harder on ourselves than we would ever be on a friend. If someone we cared about told us they had a difficult week and didn't accomplish everything they hoped, we'd encourage them. We'd remind them how much they've already achieved. We'd tell them one bad week doesn't define them.
Yet when it comes to our own goals, we tend to focus almost exclusively on what we didn't do.
We remember the week we skipped instead of the months we showed up.
We focus on the task we didn't finish instead of everything we completed.
We obsess over one setback and ignore all the progress that came before it.
That mindset makes it difficult to stay motivated because no matter how far we've come, we're always measuring ourselves against perfection. A much healthier approach is to zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Instead of asking what happened this week, ask yourself how much progress you've made over the last six months or year. Chances are, you've moved much further than you realize.
One exercise that has helped me tremendously is creating what I call a minimum success rule. In other words, what's the smallest action you can take that still counts as progress? Not the ideal action. Not the ambitious action. The smallest action.
For a blogger, maybe it's writing a few hundred words. For a podcaster, maybe it's outlining the next episode. For someone exploring a side hustle, maybe it's sending one email, researching one idea, or having one conversation with someone who's already doing what you hope to do.
The goal isn't to make massive progress every day. The goal is to keep the habit alive. When you lower the barrier to entry, you're much more likely to start. And once you start, you'll often find yourself doing more than you originally intended.
The women who successfully build businesses, launch podcasts, start blogs, change careers, or create meaningful second acts aren't necessarily more disciplined than everyone else. They don't have fewer responsibilities. They don't have perfect schedules. They simply become very good at restarting.
When life gets busy, they adjust.
When they fall behind, they begin again.
When things don't go according to plan, they keep moving forward anyway.
That's the part of success people don't talk about enough. Behind every accomplishment is a long list of interruptions, mistakes, setbacks, delays, and moments when quitting would have been easier. The difference is that successful people understand those moments are part of the process, not evidence that the process isn't working.
If you've been following along with this series, you've already done something important. You've started thinking intentionally about what you want your future to look like. You've explored ideas, routines, confidence, and consistency. Most importantly, you've started making space for yourself in a life that often demands your attention elsewhere.
As you move forward, I want you to remember that consistency is not about becoming a different person overnight. It's not about finding the perfect schedule or waiting for the perfect season. It's about taking the next small step, even when life feels messy and imperfect.
And when you inevitably get knocked off track, because all of us do, it's about having the courage to come back and start again.
If you're still trying to figure out what your next chapter might look like, I invite you to download my free Second Act Pathfinder. I created it specifically for busy women who know they want something more, whether that's a side hustle, creative project, career change, or simply a renewed sense of purpose, but aren't quite sure where to begin. Sometimes the hardest part isn't taking action. It's figuring out which direction to take next. The Pathfinder will help you uncover what's pulling your attention, identify opportunities that fit your life right now, and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.
Because your next chapter doesn't require perfection.
It simply requires that you're willing to keep showing up.
