20: What to Ask Before You Make Your Next Move

You've noticed something's shifted. Maybe it's subtle, like a nagging feeling that what you're doing doesn't quite fit anymore. Or maybe it's loud and clear: something has to change.

Once you feel that, the urge to decide can be overwhelming. You want to fix it, move forward, do something. But here's what I've learned: in this season of life, the most powerful thing you can do is to ask better questions first.

Why the Rush to Decide Feels So Strong

We've been conditioned to believe that momentum equals progress. That decisiveness is confidence. That hesitation means fear.

But that's not always true, especially now.

Sometimes, you need to pause before you leap. Not because you're afraid, but because you're preparing. Because you deserve clarity, not just closure.

Before you make your next move, ask yourself: Am I choosing this because I'm clear, or because I'm uncomfortable with not knowing?

That one question can change everything.

Reflection Is Not Procrastination

Let's get this straight: procrastination avoids the truth. Reflection is how you get to the truth.

If you've spent years meeting expectations, holding things together, being the dependable one, your instinct might be to just decide something and move on. I get it, that's reasonable.

But real clarity doesn't happen under pressure. It happens when you give yourself permission to be honest about where you are and where you actually want to go.

The Questions That Create Real Clarity

Instead of asking "What should I do next?", which often leads to overthinking or people-pleasing, try these:

What am I hoping this decision will fix?
Sometimes we're looking for relief, not direction. There's a difference.

What would staying the same cost me over the next year?
This one's powerful. Think beyond the emotional cost. What energy would you spend? What opportunities would you miss?

What feels like relief, not excitement?
Relief is often your body's way of saying, Yes, this is right. Excitement can be ego talking.

What would I choose if no one else had an opinion?
This tells you where you really are. Strip away the filters, the expectations, the "shoulds" and listen.

Ego-Driven vs. Aligned Decisions

Here's a distinction that's been a game-changer for me:

Ego-driven decisions sound like:

• "I should be doing this by now."

• "This would look really good."

• "This would prove something to [fill in the blank]."

Aligned decisions feel different. They come from steadiness, even when you're not 100% sure. You don't feel rushed. You feel solid.

If you've already used my Second Act Pathfinder (and if you haven't, now's a great time), go back and look at your results. You've already identified what's shifted, what drains you, and what supports you. Now it's time to notice the themes and name the direction.

Try This: Commit to Noticing

Before you do anything new, try this for one week:

Notice what drains you.
Notice what gives you a sense of relief.
Notice what keeps coming back to your mind, over and over again.

You don't need to act yet. You're just gathering information. And that's not standing still, that's preparing to make your best next decision.

Takeaways

• The urge to make quick decisions can be misleading.

• Hesitation can be a sign of preparation, not fear.

• Reflection helps uncover the truth about your desires.

• Asking the right questions leads to clarity.

• Consider the cost of staying the same over time.

• Identify what brings you relief versus excitement.

• Ego-driven decisions often feel urgent and performative.

• Aligned decisions come from a place of steadiness.

• Gather insights before making your next move.

• Patience is key in the decision-making process.

What Comes Next

If you're sitting with these questions and feeling both ready and unsure at the same time, that's not a contradiction. That's clarity building.

Being ready doesn't mean you have all the answers. It means you're prepared to move ahead thoughtfully. One small, confident decision at a time.

This is where your second act gets strong, not from rushing to the start, but from knowing why you're starting in the first place.

So let me ask you: What's one question you need to sit with this week?

Drop it in the comments or journal it out. You've already done the hard work of noticing. Now, let's get clear.

If this resonated with you, make sure you're subscribed to the Second Act Simplified podcast. We're diving deeper into what comes after this moment, and how to recognize what your first move really is. Let's simplify this together.